What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What are the basic human needs according to psychology? What are the consequences of not meeting these needs?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

TEXT:

While wearing high heels and walking heel to toe, when the toe box hit the floor there is a noise. How do I keep the noise just for the heel?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

How often do you watch the news on TV?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Has a psychic ever made a crazy prediction that turned out to be true?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

I’m a 25 year old teacher teaching at boys school & I have colleagues younger than me. I caught one of my students telling her he wanted her as his teacher instead & it hurt my feelings. They compliment her a lot. It makes me jealous. What do I do?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why do a lot of women have a crush on my boyfriend when they know he is in a relationship with me? I am starting to feel insecure too. What should I do?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Do airline pilots try to avoid turbulence? How can you tell if your flight has been rerouted due to weather conditions or other factors?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why are most people broke?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Is it socially acceptable for individuals to wear clothing typically associated with the opposite gender? What are some reasons for or against this practice?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …